Bad Dreams

Not exactly nightmares, but still very unpleasant. I am tired of having these bad dreams.

I dream that my husband is gone for some reason, and I have had to move back to East Texas and live in a crappy little apartment, and work in a filthy factory with no safety equipment.

It's a relief to wake up, and realize it was a dream, and I am in my nice bed, in our house in New Mexico. But the sadness hangs on.

I don't know why I am having these dreams again. Maybe because sales are bad this month, and I am behind on the studio bills. Having to return to my former life would be about the worst thing I can think of. Rationally, I know it can't happen. I have too many friends here, and more skills. I have been clean and sober for 15 years. I have so many more resources than just my husband.

Maybe the dreams must mean that my life would be crap without him.