I had a very good counselor who told me this about memories that aren't confirmed by other family members:
__________________
If we could wind back your memory like a film, we might not find a scene that exactly looks like what you remember. That's how
it is for everyone's memory about everything. BUT, we would find that
your memory is consistent in emotional content. Your memory of the
location or the date or other small details may be inaccurate, but
casting will be correct. Who the abuser was, and what sort of abuse it
was will be accurate.
Our memories are how we move
through life, and we get the gist of people right, because it can be
important to our survival. Whether it happened in the back yard or on
your Grandmother's sofa is not relevant.
False
memories do happen, but they take a lot of work to create. The cases
you may have heard of are made with hypnosis, heavy medication, and a
bad shrink trying to force their patient to dig up supposedly repressed
memories that may not even be there. They don't jive with other
memories, and usually can't be made to fit into any reasonable time or
space.
Memories that you recover yourself, you can
trust. They're not so much repressed, as you just don't think about
them. When you are emotionally ready to deal with them, they surface on
their own. Or, they don't. It's okay either way.
_____________
At least, this is what I remember her saying...
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